My Baby Boy

I have discussed college with Xan since 3rd grade . . . 3rd grade!! He would tell me where he was going to school and I would tell him to concentrate on getting in to 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade - STOP. Ninth grade took years off my life. I could not for the life of me get him to concentrate on 9th grade - getting in to 10th grade. No, Xan had to get his social status on. He had to establish himself at his new school. He nearly established himself twice as I doubted he would make it to 10th grade. He did and now he is in 11th and I just registered him for the SAT - for college applications - we are there. How did that happen, we are approaching college?? It seemed impossible to think we would ever approach college and now my baby boy is starting the process.

I don't know how to even wrap my head around all that lies ahead . . . tests, applications, the waiting, more applications, forms, anxiety - and that's just me! Nonetheless it's exciting to think of what lies ahead for him - or is it?

My Baby Girl

So my sweet 16 year old has modeling auditions for 2 bridal stores participating in Charleston Fashion Week. Seems like only yesterday when she was born . . . .

OPERATING ROOM

I wonder if they know I can see the reflection of my exposed stomach in the light shinning over my chest? I don’t think I noticed this “extra” the last time. And why if my body is numb from the chest down do I feel so much anxiety – can’t an epidural stop anxiety? It doesn’t matter at this point. Within 5 minutes I will be a mother for the second time . . . . but for the first time to a girl. A mother, to a female, who wasn’t mothered but has 3 mothers – how will I mother her? Dear Lord . . . . . please let this baby be healthy and please, no matter what happens, let me accept her for who she is and what she is. I close my eyes and say to myself:

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou

among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at

the hour of hour death, Amen.

Always did find comfort in Mary as a little girl and even more so as a mother. Maybe she could help me figure out what to do . . . oh wait, she raised a son. Lawdy, Lawdy looks like she and I are going to wing this!

And then there she was – Dr. Smith held up my 9 pound 10 ounce, 23 inch bundle of – whoah – she looks, well ,PISSED. Oh, that is not how I wanted this to go – is that a bad sign??

Little did I know what I was in-store for!!

First Of More?

Welcome to my world? Is that really something you want to enter? I am not sure of my purpose for doing this other than I am often told I should write a book. There are stories in my life that are interesting but book worthy - not anymore interesting than someone else's life I'm sure.

Anyway I tend to share some of those secretes, rather stories in this blog since I have a little time on my hand . . . unemployment will do that to you, but that is another story for another day.

Today is just an introduction to me, to my world and all it is that I really don't know.

How about what I do know . . . I have 2 wonderful children - Alexander and Audrey. Xan is a 17 year old junior and Audrey is a 16 year old sophomore. In addition to my children, I have 4-legged kids too - Buoy, my soul mate, and Teeny. Both are Boykin Spaniels. Buoy is 4.5 years old and Teeny is an old rescue from the days when I did Boykin Spaniel Rescue. I have 2 cats - Bobber, a Ragdoll, and Tibby just a cat. And then there is me . . . .a 43 year old divorced, unemployed for the moment, single mom just trying to do the best that any mom can do.

So as I go through this exercise remember you have been warned. I am not a writer, I am not interesting for that matter, I ramble and the stories are just mine and nothing special. On that not though, I hope you'll get some enjoyment out of what I've learned from all I don't know!