My Baby Girl

So my sweet 16 year old has modeling auditions for 2 bridal stores participating in Charleston Fashion Week. Seems like only yesterday when she was born . . . .

OPERATING ROOM

I wonder if they know I can see the reflection of my exposed stomach in the light shinning over my chest? I don’t think I noticed this “extra” the last time. And why if my body is numb from the chest down do I feel so much anxiety – can’t an epidural stop anxiety? It doesn’t matter at this point. Within 5 minutes I will be a mother for the second time . . . . but for the first time to a girl. A mother, to a female, who wasn’t mothered but has 3 mothers – how will I mother her? Dear Lord . . . . . please let this baby be healthy and please, no matter what happens, let me accept her for who she is and what she is. I close my eyes and say to myself:

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou

among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at

the hour of hour death, Amen.

Always did find comfort in Mary as a little girl and even more so as a mother. Maybe she could help me figure out what to do . . . oh wait, she raised a son. Lawdy, Lawdy looks like she and I are going to wing this!

And then there she was – Dr. Smith held up my 9 pound 10 ounce, 23 inch bundle of – whoah – she looks, well ,PISSED. Oh, that is not how I wanted this to go – is that a bad sign??

Little did I know what I was in-store for!!