Circle of Life

Over the weekend my parents, that is my father and my step-mother, came to visit me. Now their visits are always welcomed and very enjoyable . . . how can they not be? As my brother said they are like the Navy Seals - they are in, they are out. No time to feel as if the visit is a bother since the moment they arrive, the departure is eminent. I had thought this was mostly my father but I realize it is both of them. Being they are not ones for any great adventure, travel is not a priority. Their visits are often a tease - just enough to make you realize how much they are missed and enjoyed and them BAM - they are gone again.

Having parents live away causes visits to sometimes be a little difficult because the aging is more noticed - an added wrinkle, a limp, a slower gait and the worse . . . . the fact their foot plays a tapping game with the brake when driving a car. You know what I mean - the overly cautious jerks, the release of the brake, the hesitation of doing so, the release, the hesitation . . . and of course no one but your father can drive or is a capable driver so the time you spend in the car during the visit gives you whiplash and you are constantly having to reassure and remind him of what lane and that the turn is coming up yet if he would just let you drive - in the town you live in, all this could be avoided. UGH! And as frustrating as all this is it is sad because your daddy, your world, is now frail and nervous and that is not something that is suppose to happen.

On the flip side of this, you sit in the passenger's side of a car and your child is driving . . . too fast, too careless, not stopping and not in the least bit concerned of where they are going or what is going on around them. The complete opposite of the experience with your parents.

So to think of the extremes and then to be smack-dab in the middle and to realize your parents once sat in the passenger seat with you when you were learning to drive. Do you think that is why daddy wouldn't let me drive? Because while I see my daddy aging - and that is scary, he still sees me as that little girl? And what will happen with my kids - will they one day say the sign of the cross when getting in the car with me because I am too stubborn to let them drive?

As our time dwindles down, I often wonder where our lives will end up. I like that Audrey and Xan fight over who I will live with - who will take care of me. Makes me feel I did something right - not to mention I may need the space. I hope we are not far apart - I hope I don't arrive for a weekend visit and a fear comes over them because they notice me aging. I want to protect them from any worries . . . and show them, regardless of age I will still drive like Steve McQueen.

What I don't know is where we will be - I do know regardless of the location - we will never be apart.