First Dates

There are certain things one is never comfortable doing regardless of how many times it is done or at what age or how long it’s been. One of those things is dating. I am 44 years old and I never expected or wanted to be in a dating situation at this age. But I am and it is time I made the best of it.

I had a first date last night – a blind date other than we have emailed, texted and talked on the phone. And as comfortable as that may have become and actual meeting takes it to a whole other level. And that level is awkwardness . . . . . it is so awkward, regardless, it’s awkward.

I found myself with time to spare prior to the date (I was ready 2 hours early - how pathetic am I) so I Googled “First Dates”. Think about that – you can go on the internet and find out how to handle a first date. I did this and the one thing I came away with is try to just enjoy the moment. Don’t work too hard, just relax (relax?) and enjoy. So that is what I decided to do.

We met at a quaint Mexican restaurant. I let him “pick me up” at the bar. In other words, I arrived early, got a margarita and waited. He arrived before I expected he would and met me at the bar. He ordered the same drink and we moved to a table.

The initial greeting was difficult – how do you greet someone who you have shared conversation with but haven’t yet met? Then again, maybe it isn’t difficult and I just opt to pick - every - minute - a - part.

Once we were seated we ordered and we talked. We talked nonstop. Can I tell you what we talked about – not really. Because while we were talking I was talking in my head to myself the whole time (so much for relaxing). I was worried about my facial expressions, how I was sitting, the way I drank, the way I ate. I mean really, what the hell was I doing there?

But he was so nice, and kind and positive. He was chatty and I think a bit of that had to do with nerves as well. We both are attractive people who I am sure could pick apart flaws with ourselves and about each other. But we didn’t seem to do that then and there. We just talked.

We closed the place down and moved to the parking lot. We stood there and talked a little longer. There was a gap between us, we didn’t stand too close. And I am still trying to figure out my read on that one. Was the body language that of one that wasn’t interested . . .was it respectful? I am confused by that but at our good bye we hugged and kissed on the check. That means something, right? That wasn’t just to be kind – was it?

I texted him when I got home and thanked and told him I had a wonderful time . . . should I have used wonderful? Is that too much? Well too much too late as it was sent. He responded with “It was nice. I had a good time”. He didn’t say wonderful . . .is he just being nice? Am I going nuts?

I decided if nothing else I hope I made a new friend. If nothing else I jumped through a hoop and went on a date. That’s a big deal at my age, at this time in my life. I put myself out there and I attempted to make a connection. So I will focus on that and pat myself on the back.

As for what’s to come I guess we will just wait and see. . . .